21 Ways to Help Someone You Love Through Grief
Apr 25, · In other words, the grieving process is unique to each person. The best way to offer support, however, is not. “Just listen,” says Donna Henes, a . Help Someone in Grief. The most fundamental ways to help someone who is grieving are: Listen. Helping begins with your ability to be an active listener. Your physical presence and desire to listen without judging are critical helping tools. Don’t worry so much about what you will say.
Explore HuffPost's Bent Not Broken project to learn how the coronavirus has disrupted our mental health, and how to manage our well-being moving forward. The coronavirus pandemic has wreaked havoc on the world, leaving a lot of loss in its wake. And everyone at the grief how to help someone is grieving to grief how to help someone certain degree, said Grief. Here are some ways you can be there for those who may need you right now:.
Sure, a special event can be virtual-based or a party can be rescheduled. But at the end of the day, someone is still feeling a legitimate loss. Your daughter gets to grieve her wedding. The death of a hel one is horrendous but we still have a right to feel all these smaller zomeone. He said there are no right or wrong feelings, just actions we take based on those feelings that may or may not work for us.
Touching base could go a long way, even if you simply send a card, email or text. Kessler is a fan of using video technology. Amy DeGuriana grief expert and a lecturer at the University of Pittsburgh School of Social Work, encouraged people to not let the lack of a physical funeral to attend thwart tending to someone going through a physical loss.
He suggested specifically asking the person you are assisting how they would like you to support them.
Wear costumes! Did they appreciate a specific sports team or cause? Wear a specific color. Did they like going to church and drinking craft beer?
This can be grieg great way to help a friend celebrate and honor someone they have lost, especially during a time where traditions like funerals and wakes are unavailable, Forsythia added. Offer to assist with finding a therapist who can help with dealing with loss, Cowan said.
Kessler agreed, noting that he recently started a free online support group that people can participate in day and night. Offer your assistance with any re-evaluating or organizational tasks. Treat the grieving individual to something that will lift their spirits. Ali Briggs, CEO of memorial scrapbook company LifeWebsuggested setting up a virtual wine or tea date or movie night.
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Apr 25, · I liked that you said that grief counseling is intended to help someone grieve in a healthy manner. I would imagine that this kind of counseling would be crucial after the loss of a loved one. I will be sure to recommend grief counseling to my friend who just lost her grandma. Reply. Apr 15, · Grief lasts way beyond the delivery of the news. Saying you’re sorry, and then never mentioning the death again is not a good idea, unless the bereaved person has Author: Annalisa Barbieri.
The most fundamental ways to help someone who is grieving are:. But I promise that if you commit to being present to someone in grief, companioning him through what might be his darkest hours, you will be rewarded with the deep satisfaction of having helped a fellow human being heal. Alan Wolfelt. A child. Speak to a child gently but also honestly and openly, at their level of developmental understanding.
Talk just a little, then stop. Give the child a chance to process what you have said and to respond. If the child asks questions, answer them honestly. If the child wants to go off and play or is hungry or distracted, understand that this is normal. Children can only absorb difficult conceptual realities in small doses. They are naturally self-absorbed, but this does not mean they do not care or are acting inappropriately.
It just means they are being children. Any child old enough to love is old enough to mourn, but their mourning often looks different than ours. Children tend to grieve in small spurts, showing sadness only occasionally.
Their grief might show up as physical complaints, such as headaches or stomachaches. In general, their behaviors are a better indication of their grief than their words. Their age and developmental stage determines how much they truly understand about death. They are prone to magical thinking, believing that thoughts can cause actions and that their fantasies can become real. When they are grieving, children need to feel safe, loved, cared for, and heard. You can help by being a grown-up in their lives who provides such conditions.
Spend time being present to the child. Model your own grief as well. If you feel like crying, cry. As with everything in life, children need us to teach them how to act.
Respond gently if the child misbehaves. A teenager. Be gentle but honest. Follow their lead. Try not to get upset if the teen reacts inconsiderately or seems unmoved. Do model your own grief, though.
Cry if you feel like crying. Express your own thoughts and feelings about the death while keeping the conversation focused on the teen.
Offer physical comfort if the teen will allow it. Death for teens is complicated because it falls at a time when they are naturally gaining independence and separating from their parents and family. They still need comfort and companionship through a death, but they might naturally resist the seeming sense of dependence this brings. Teens often turn toward friends, rather than family, for support.
Grieving teens sometimes act out or pull away from school, friends, family, and activities. Minor stresses seemingly unrelated to the death can trigger dramatic overreactions. Be present to and patient with grieving teens. They may look like grown-ups on the outside, but they are still very much figuring things out on the inside.
If you have a good relationship with the teen, try to spend time with them. Shoot hoops, go out to dinner, watch a movie together, or just be in the same room or building! Remember that grief and loss are probably contributing to any acting out, so try to be understanding even as you set firm limits.
A friend. What are you supposed to say? Is there anything you can do? Second, try to be a good listener. Show up, be there, and really pay attention to what your friend is telling you.
Instead, listen and empathize. And third, in addition to your physical presence, give practical help. Bring a meal, mow the lawn, carpool the kids. Reach out—often and humbly. A spouse. The hurt is natural and necessary.
Instead, you can help by listening and simply being present as he encounters his pain. Be empathetic. Try to understand how your spouse is feeling, from his perspective. Also show your support in a variety of ways. A parent. Grieving parents have a tough road ahead of them. They need all the love and support you can give. Offer your practical help when possible.
They might need help with groceries, cooking, cleaning, laundry, carpooling, childcare, or other daily tasks. You can also bear witness to their pain. You can watch and listen as they express whatever they are thinking and feeling. Refrain from giving advice, judging, or sharing what others in their shoes have done. Instead, simply let them know they are heard and that you care.
A grandparent. Grieving grandparents grieve twice. They grieve for the grandchild who died, and they grieve for their own child, who is grieving the death of a child. If you know a grandparent who is in this situation, they need your caring and support.
You see, grieving grandparents are often forgotten. Tell them you care. Reach out to talk and spend time together. When they share any thoughts and feelings about their loss, listen without judging or offering advice. Be an empathetic, compassionate companion during their time of grief. A coworker. Grief in the workplace can be tricky.
Yet death is a natural part of life, just as much as birthdays, holidays, weddings, and other important life transitions we share with each other at work. So when a coworker is grieving, I urge you to be open and supportive. Acknowledge the death as soon as you hear about it. Call or send an email or text right away. When your colleague returns to work, approach her and share your condolences. Schedule lunches together regularly, or offer to meet up for coffee after work.
Be someone she knows will listen whenever she wants to talk. My Account Calendar 0 Items. Help Someone in Grief The most fundamental ways to help someone who is grieving are: Listen. Helping begins with your ability to be an active listener.
Your physical presence and desire to listen without judging are critical helping tools. Just concentrate on listening to the words that are being shared with you. Have compassion. Give the person who is grieving permission to express their feelings without fear of criticism or judgment.
Try to learn and understand. Be there. Your ongoing and reliable presence is the most important gift you can give. While you cannot take the pain away nor should you try to , you can enter into it by being there for the griever.
Remain available in the weeks, months, and years to come. Alan Wolfelt A child Talking to children about a death Speak to a child gently but also honestly and openly, at their level of developmental understanding.
How children grieve differently Any child old enough to love is old enough to mourn, but their mourning often looks different than ours.
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